The best method 
for 

raising children 


Geraldine B. Foster 











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The best method 

for 

raising children 


by 

Geraldine B. Foster 

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In loving memory of my mother 


Price $1 50 








HQ. 76? 

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Copyrighted 1924 . 



OCT -2 24 

©CU809178 


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PREFACE 


The inspiration, of which this book is the re¬ 
sult, arose from the author’s observation of many 
mothers, who having started their career under 
the usual happy auspices, busy with cares and 
responsibilities, filled with joy and expectation, 
find themselves in later life neglected, their early 
maternal hopes shattered, their children but a 
source of regret. 

The author’s purpose, in presenting this sub¬ 
ject, is to prevent mothers from following their 
habitual erroneous way, in the raising of their 
children, and alleviate their suffering in late 
years. 

If this work, by its suggestions, accomplishes 
such results, we feel it justifies its existence. 

NECESSITY TO STUDY CHILD’S 
EDUCATION 

The problem of raising and educating children 
has always been a hard and complicated one. 
Many philosophers, professors and sociologists 
have tried to facilitate it by writing extensive 
treatises on this subject, but they have failed to 
give any assistance to the average mother, be¬ 
cause she will not give the time to study, conse¬ 
quently, she remains in total ignorance of the 
combined research work which has been done for 
improving the education of children. 

While training is given to the artist, the pro¬ 
fessional man, and the artisan, in order that they 
may properly learn their respective work, mothers 
receive no special training to fulfill successfully 


3 


their most sacred duty: that of raising a family; 
and to accomplish this task, they are compelled 
to rely on their own natural resources, which in 
many cases have proved to be deficient. 

Having observed for many years this deplor¬ 
able deficiency, I finally decided to do my share 
in helping to remedy it, and set out to write these 
precepts. In them you will not find elaborate 
phrases or elegant language, but truth spoken 
plainly and directly. At times I may seem to 
be harsh on mothers, but they will soon forgive 
me when they find out that my sole aim is to 
throw more light in their path. 

The methods which women use in raising the 
future generation are many. One is that of tak¬ 
ing advice from their own mothers or from old 
friends. They follow the directions received to 
a certain extent, until they become handicapped 
by difficulties that arise to complicate their 
problems. 

Another method is that of assuming the role 
of “know-it-all.” No one is going to dictate to 
them what to do with their children. They be¬ 
lieve themselves capable of mastering the situa¬ 
tion. These mothers often follow extreme meas¬ 
ures. They are indulgent or severe at the wrong 
time, ending with the ruination of their children. 

There are other women who have no friends to 
give them advice. These poor unfortunates de¬ 
pend upon the indulgence of God, and when God 
cannot be in touch with them to suggest, for in¬ 
stance, giving the baby fresh air, they curse God 
because he permitted their child to die while he 


4 


let the children of the rich live. When I told one 
of these women that it was not God who allowed 
her child to die, but that she herself caused its 
death by keeping the windows of her apartment 
closed during the winter months, never allowing 
a breath of air to enter, and by not taking her 
baby out of doors, she stared at me with her 
mouth wide open. She had no answer to make. 
But I hope by this time she has already real¬ 
ized that her first-born died through her own 
ignorance. 

So the story goes. 

I hardly think that two per centum of mothers 
take pains in instructing themselves as to how to 
raise and educate their children. They think God 
has endowed them with the knowledge of this 
particular art, for, are they not mothers? They 
ought to know what is best for their own off¬ 
spring! They rely solely upon maternal instinct. 

They kiss and fondle their babies and they 
abandon themselves to dreams. If they are boys, 
they will grow up to be famous lawyers, doctors, 
or musicians; if they are girls, they expect them 
to be so pretty and graceful that they will be 
married to millionaires to live happily for ever 
after, and God, of course, is made a partner in 
their projects. They add to every utterance: 
“With the will of God,” but they ignore or forget 
that God has established some precepts in bring¬ 
ing up children. 

CONCERNING BABIES—There are organiza¬ 
tions which furnish mothers with a complete line 
of literature concerning the care of babies. I 


5 


shall avoid, therefore, giving much instruction 
about babies, because they require but little train¬ 
ing. I desire only to emphasize what one must 
do in order to keep a baby healthy. 

In the first place, fresh air is very necessary to 
an infant. He must be taken out of doors at least 
once a day, and he also should be allowed to stay 
or to sleep in the open air during the summer 
months. 

Sleep is the next key to the welfare of the baby, 
the more a baby sleeps, the healthier he grows; 
and here I state that babies should be put to sleep 
a few times during the day, and must go to bed 
not later than six o’clock. 

Milk, whether it be the mother’s, or from the 
cow, should be administered at scheduled time. 
After several months, light cereals may be added 
to the diet. 

There are certain things that mothers should 
not do: 

1— Avoid exposing the baby to cold air; have 
his body well wrapped up in warm clothing. 

2— Avoid subjecting your baby to excitement, 
such as playing with him to amuse yourself or 
the family. 

3— Give your baby plenty of sleep, for sleep 
makes him grow, while excitement gives him a 
nervous and restless disposition. 

4 — Do not be alarmed by a baby’s cry. Find 
out if his cry is caused by pain or by temper. If 
by pain, minister to him by following the instruc¬ 
tions given in the literature received. If his cry- 


6 


ing is caused by temper, let him cry, in that man¬ 
ner he exercises his lungs. Do not forget that 
babies soon learn that by crying they obtain the 
things they want. 

5—Furthermore, do not make the mistake of 
encouraging him to walk too early, as by so doing 
the natural growth of his legs may be impaired. 
Mothers often do this prompted by a petty ambi¬ 
tion, and in many cases are rewarded by a “bow- 
legged” child. 

WHEN BABY BECOMES A CHILD 

Mothers and fathers should try to perfect their 
behavior when their baby is about three years 
old. They must be conscious that everything they 
say and do is heard and learned by a constant 
witness. They must avoid careless chatting, 
arguing or quarreling among themselves, gossip¬ 
ing and ridiculing others; they must refrain from 
showing temper in any form. And here comes 
to my mind scores of mothers belonging to all 
types and ages, mothers I have seen and observed, 
whose ways of dealing with children could really 
be called criminal. 

I hear someone say: “Why do you speak only 
of mothers, how about fathers—are they not also 
responsible for the education of their children?” 
Yes, both are responsible, and upon both will fall 
the penalty for having neglected their most sacred 
duty. The reason why I address mothers, is be¬ 
cause they, as a rule, have the responsibility to 
attend their children while fathers are at work. 

I often wonder if the parents of a child ever 
stop to think of the many boys and girls, who for 


7 


various reasons are far from enjoying the benefits 
of life. Do they think of those in prison, of the 
dope-fiends, of the vagabonds, and of the many 
youths who are deprived of a sane and free life? 
If we would take pains to trace back the origin 
of their misfortunes, we would find most of them 
to be a poor and defective education. Admitting 
that some of these wrecks had good fathers and 
good mothers, we can verify the fact that those 
good parents were entirely ignorant of the sci¬ 
ence of educating children, and that to accomplish 
this duty they proceeded blindly. 

Some mothers believe that because a child is 
unruly and plays with forbidden things, they are 
duty bound to punish him in order to make him 
behave. Parents should realize that scolding, 
beating, shaking a child does not improve his con¬ 
dition. From the very beginning, from the time 
the child is very young, the mother must give him 
her attention by talking to him and explaining to 
him kindly the reason why he must not do certain 
things. By doing that she gradually develops 
his reason and his intelligence, and while one 
may think she is wasting her words, one will be 
surprised to find out in the future that her talk 
unconsciously impressed him. 

Children as a rule do not realize they are being 
naughty. If a child of three years would take 
your work basket, upset your knitting, pull out 
the needles, rip your work, entangle the thread, 
you would surely meet him with a frown, and 
say: “Why Charlie, what are you doing?” You 
would shake him, slap his little hands, you would 
call him “a bad boy!” and thus you would deal 


8 


with him for every little act of mischief. You 
must realize that even a child of five who upsets 
and destroys your things has no real conception of 
what he is doing. To his imagination things ap¬ 
pear in a different light than to a grown-up. He 
mischievously destroys your articles because he 
wants to do great things with them. In his own 
mind he does not mean to destroy, but he intends 
to build. The only course, therefore, for you to 
follow is to talk to him gently, explain to him that 
he has caused his mother pain by his latest action, 
suggest to him other means by which he can 
work and play, thus exercising his faculty of 
building. 

But, here you cry: “I do that. I give him his 
blocks and his railway, and I ask him to play 
with them, but he would rather carry the pail 
filled with coal, and finishes by spilling it all over 
the floor, smearing his hands and clothes into the 
bargain. He goes to his father’s tool box, gets 
out the heavy tools, and while so doing hurts him¬ 
self badly, and ends in tears.” 

That is easily explained. He sees you using the 
pail of coal and wants to get hold of it; he sees 
his father use his tools and wants to do likewise. 
He does not care to play with his lonesome blocks 
and his railway, because father and mother do 
not use them. But, if you would occasionally 
play with him yourself, and show an interest in 
his playthings, you would succeed in interesting 
him. Little by little, patiently teach him the 
things you want him to do, and warn him against 
the others you do not want him to do. By work- 


9 


ing steadily along these lines you will find out 
that your child, in his play, will no longer be 
destructive. 

THINGS MOTHERS SHOULD AVOID 

I will outline now a few things which parents 
must refrain from doing. We often hear of girls 
who run away from home and end badly; of 
boys who, even in their teens, become crim¬ 
inals. These boys and girls were once babies 
and their mothers were proud of them. They 
tried to bring them up properly; they did what 
they thought was right for them, but they did 
not succeed. Why? One cause of utter failure in 
the home education is due to the manifestation 
of temper. Temper is poisonous to the harmony 
of the family; its evils are many and they are 
deadly as the sting of the viper. 

Some people are subject to temper only once 
in a while. That is plausible—no one could pos¬ 
sibly be in a temper all the time, but even “once 
in a while” is enough to impress young children 
with its marks, that it will injure them for years 
to come. Not long ago I heard an ignorant young 
woman, who, I suppose, must have become a 
mother against her will, address on the street 
her four-year-old boy, thus: “You damn fool! 
Come here!” Her voice was by no means sweet, 
but angry and shrill. She ran after him with the 
gait of a tigress. She shook him, and well, I 
did not even turn to see what else she did. I 
was so shocked and angered that I had to move 
on quickly. On another street, two days after, 
I noticed a young woman walking with an older 


10 


one, and, four feet behind followed a girl of eight. 
They were unusually well dressed, and while I 
was looking at their stylish clothes, I heard the 
young woman shout excitedly to the girl: “You 
little fool!” and grabbing the child she vehemently 
beat her. The child was lagging behind—that 
was her crime. 

I hate to state the evil consequences of thus 
treating children. And yet, how great is the 
number of mothers who use such rash and mad 
methods! “Ralph, stop that!” cries his angry 
mother, slapping his little hands. “Do you hear? 
I don’t want you to do that!” and shaking him, 
she confronts him with her angry frown, or giv¬ 
ing him a good spanking, leaves him to cry. It 
never occurs to this mother to use entirely dif¬ 
ferent language and methods other than her own. 
And yet she must have been familiar with the old 
adage “That which ye sow, the same shall ye 
reap.” 

I recall a girl of ten, who, after her mother had 
whipped her, tearfully exclaimed: “Mother, when 
I am a big girl and you are an old woman, I am 
going to beat you as you did me today.” The 
mother was scandalized. She said: “Stop, don’t 
talk that way to your mother.” But, nevertheless, 
she had learned her lesson, and has never spanked 
her child since then. 

Temper generates temper, which is the worst 
curse of the human race. The children that you 
want to be obedient and repressed through beat¬ 
ing and scolding, will probably keep quiet while 
they are children; but, when they become older, 


11 


they will show their temper to you. And so you 
will be happy when they are married and gone 
away from your own home, to start another home 
with the same endowment as yours: children pun¬ 
ished, scolded, beaten and dealt with temper. 

Make a promise to yourself when you have a 
child, that, notwithstanding provocation, you will 
banish angry tones and threats, abhor beating, 
use patience and persuasion, because a child can¬ 
not see things through your eyes. 

Blessed the family that has succeeded in for¬ 
saking temper and that lives a peaceful, serene 
and harmonious life; its children will grow in 
the habit of considering with calm the vicissitudes 
of life, and will therefore be able to avoid its 
usual mishaps. 

THE FRUIT OF PATIENCE AND 
GENTLENESS 

“Does a woman ever get returns for the sac¬ 
rifices she makes for her children?” we hear some¬ 
one ask once in a while. “Yes, she does,” I 
would answer, “if she follows strictly the right 
rules of education.” 

Every mother wishes to make the most of her 
children, she wants them to grow uprighteous, 
industrious, and good strong citizens. To obtain 
this, she must begin to let them work from the 
time they are small, she must avoid their playing 
in the street with other children, all the time. 
She must avoid letting them have all the toys 
and playthings they desire. 

We know that the best citizens and most suc¬ 
cessful business men sprang from three sources: 


12 


from the farm, from the workshop, and from poor 
immigrant families, having had, therefore, not a 
childhood of play, but of work. 

When we are adults we tend to follow the 
paths of our younger days: if we worked then, 
we will always look for work and delight in it. 
If we have played and played, we want a life of 
idleness. Women who have had a childhood of 
play are preparing themselves for future disap¬ 
pointment. If they marry and do their own work, 
they do it unwillingly, they will reproach their 
husbands for not making enough money to en¬ 
able them to keep a servant, they envy others, 
and they live a life of wretched discontent. 

As for men, men who have played and played 
as children, who have had nothing but a good 
time, will not grow into prosperous business men 
or distinguished professional men. The best they 
can do with themselves is to obtain a position of 
mediocrity and struggle through life with it, 
but achievement of success will be far from them. 

Two boys in Chicago, sons of millionaires, hav¬ 
ing had everything money could buy, began to 
commit crimes in order to receive a thrill out 
of life. 

But let us get down to fundamentals. After 
having explained that it is necessary to begin 
work during childhood in order to enjoy a suc¬ 
cessful and happy life, let us outline the work 
for-both boys and girls. Let us begin with the 
girls. 


13 


TRAINING OF GIRLS 


Mothers must train their daughters, even be¬ 
fore they go to school, to do a little work around 
the house, such as dusting furniture, sweeping 
the kitchen, paring potatoes and apples, clearing 
the table after meals, help in washing and wiping 
the dishes, and many other little household duties. 
By the time a girl is ten years old, she should know 
how to mend stockings, how to crochet and how 
to do plain embroidering. By the time she is 
fourteen, she should know how to make aprons 
and simple little dresses. 

The early teaching of needle work gives her 
an incentive to make pretty things around the 
house, as well as trains her for a business career. 

She must be taught how to cook when she is 
very young, so that she can be helpful and able to 
cook by the time she is fifteen. 

Now here, some mothers may interpose, “Rid¬ 
iculous! how can you force a girl to sew when 
she has no inclination for it!” Another mother 
complains: “When I call my daughter into the 
kitchen and ask her to help me she quickly says: 
“Now you know, mother, I can’t cook and I don’t 
like to do kitchen work!” 

This state of things can be attributed to the 
mother’s faulty early training. Her child would 
not resist work had her faculties for labor been 
submitted to an early development. Of course, 
I said before that children must gradually be led 
to have an inclination for work; and if you have 
had your little girl in the kitchen every day to 


14 


help you from the time she was very small, she 
would naturally grow up with the knowledge of 
cooking by the time she was fifteen. If you had 
also asked your little girl to sit near you when 
you sew or darn stockings, teaching her by your 
example, she would have been asking you to let 
her help. A child, as a rule, will be eager to do 
all the things her mother does. If you encourage 
her in the habit of working, she will grow to be 
your best help, and learn to do all the things that 
you do, besides a great many that you do not. 
During school time, let your daughter play with 
other girls for an hour, the remainder of the day, 
interest her in work for the house. Study her 
occupations, vary and increase them as she grows 
older. 

Do not tell me it is impossible for you to put 
your daughter to work, for I know very well, if 
you start her with small duties when she is a tiny 
bit of a thing, you will succeed. But, if you neglect 
your responsibility when she is small, by letting 
her play with children all the time, your duty 
will grow harder as she grows older, for it is al¬ 
most impossible to take a girl who has formed the 
habit of playing all the time and place her sud¬ 
denly to work with success. There will start, as 
a consequence, that struggle between mother and 
daughter—mother’s demands for housework and 
daughter’s refusals. 

Your daughter will become malcontent. You 
will keep scolding and nagging her. She will 
escape your “tyranny” by running away with 
some man and marrying. What kind of a wife 
can she be? What kind of a home can she make? 


15 


What sort of children will she raise? Do you 
ever think of the consequences that will be 
brought about by your neglected duty? 

Elbert Hubbard once said, “Give a man his 
work and he will be a blessed man.” 

We all need our work, women as well as men, 
in order to be happy, to forget ourselves, to forget 
our ailments. 

And how to reason with girls who are already 
grown up and who use their tongues in debate 
with their mothers against doing their portion 
of labor? 

The mothers, in their most reasoning tones, 
must tell them that a life without work and a life 
of the so-called “good time” is a life of misery, a 
life of boredom. That human nature, in order 
to be happy, must be busy in some work; that 
rich girls brought up in leisure, after having drank 
its cup to the last drop, begin to get tired of a 
life without vital occupation. They find its futile 
amusement a monotonous routine. Some of them 
keep a smiling front, but we all know, and they 
also know, that their lives are empty cruel 
extravagances. 

An untiring mother, by telling things on this 
order, to her daughter, and by relating many ex¬ 
periences that have happened to girls who fol¬ 
lowed the path of laziness, will find out that 
her own girl will settle down to work. Do not 
abuse your daughters with harsh language, nor 
coerce them to work by threats, but persuade them 
and show them all the time that what you are 
doing is for their own good—that you would also 


16 


like to have them go and play with other girls, 
but your duty dictates that you should take a 
different attitude. Be strict in the enforcement 
of your teaching. Do not forget that life is a 
long journey and that no one can tell what your 
children will have to go through. It is best to 
prepare them to meet the battle of existence. 

I must admit that during our era of wealth, it 
is pretty hard for a mother to subject her daugh¬ 
ter to work, and it is also hard for the daughter 
to submit to it. 

The happiness of children has received a great 
deal of thought and consideration in recent years. 
“Let the children play, and let them have a good 
time,” is the general cry of foolish mothers, and 
because the children of the rich are raised under 
these conditions, the poor try to imitate the 
rich. But an everlasting good time cannot be se¬ 
cured by such methods! Only those that have 
received a perfect and a conscientious training 
will be able to enjoy the gifts of life. 

Girls in humble circumstances go to their 
mothers and break their hearts: “Why cannot I 
have the clothes that other girls have?” And 
mothers, instead of training their girls and making 
them realize their limited means, and explaining 
to them that their plain gingham dress is just as 
becoming and more appropriate to them under 
the circumstances than all the lace and finery of 
the daughters of the rich, attempt to imitate the 
more moneyed class. This causes needless suf¬ 
fering for mothers in the present—suffering for 
daughters in the future. 

There need be no false pride about work, about 
poverty. In fact, some times it is quite the other 


17 


way. To illustrate: When I was a child it seemed 
to me that my playmates could rival me with their 
tongues in a most formidable manner. A child 
who wore patched clothes, said to me (who was 
quite innocent of any provocation): “The Virgin 
Mary had patched clothes, mine are patched also,” 
and giving herself a dancing twist, she exclaimed, 
“Tra-la-la, I am a daughter of the Virgin Mary, 
you are not.” At the time I thought her words 
most stinging, most uncalled for, but now, upon 
mature reflection, all I can see is the remarkable 
wisdom of the mother who taught her little girl 
to take pride in her patched clothes. 

So I urge all mothers to train their daughters 
to meet all the situations of life, adverse, as well 
as fortunate. 

A mother must not only look forward to the 
welfare of her children, she must also strive to 
develop them into good and strong citizens. It 
is an obligation that every woman owes to her 
country to give to it girls physically strong, with 
school and business education, with courageous 
spirit, who will be able to meet the various vicis¬ 
situdes of life. 

I do not think well of that mother, whose hus¬ 
band has made a little money in business, and who 
therefore takes her girl from her own home sur¬ 
roundings, sends her to an expensive school of 
physical culture to develop her muscles, as she 
says, when the same purpose might be just as 
easily and more practically accomplished by let¬ 
ting her stay home, and scrub the kitchen lino¬ 
leum. She insists that her daughter has no tai¬ 


ls 


ents for sewing or for any needle work, but she 
sends her to swimming pools, to tennis courts, 
to golf links, and finally at night, she permits her 
to waste her energies in dancing. I want to state 
that I do not denounce either games or dancing, 
but I insist they should be used as recreation, 
not as girls often take them, as steady occupation. 

I believe that during the summer months girls 
have all sorts of opportunities to take up games 
and physical exercises. During the rest of the 
year they should do real work and play games 
occasionally on Saturdays and holidays. 

The woman who simply because of money, al¬ 
lows her daughter to lead an easy life, does her a 
great harm. She throws her into the great crowds 
of idlers, the pampered and the “good-for-noth¬ 
ings.” These mothers and these girls are calling 
down the punishment of God upon this country, 
for no country can ever flourish with half of her 
population working and the other half idling. 
There is an end to everything and there will be 
an end to this also. 

I have not forgotten the story an American 
woman wrote in the Saturday Evening Post, how 
she married a Russian Prince, had a very happy 
life in Russia, since she and her husband were 
both popular with the Czar and with the Ameri¬ 
can colony. She described the receptions at¬ 
tended, the military display, the teas and card 
parties given and received, in other words, the 
unceasing good time she had in that country. 
Then the crash came: The World War. She lost 
her husband, her title, her home, everything. She 


19 


ends her article thus: “When war was declared 
it put an end to all our joy and happiness; des¬ 
troyed the society and the pleasures of a country 
filled with gayeties,” etc., etc. 

Yes, it had to end, because half the population 
was idling and enjoying themselves with futilities, 
while the other half was toiling and deprived not 
only of recreation, but of the very means of 
sustenance. 

The United States, that only a few centuries 
ago was the home of the pioneer, of men and 
women who settled in the wild country, beginning 
the patient process of clearing and cultivating it, 
through untold hardships, is now-a-days harbor¬ 
ing in its bosom thousands of girls who do not 
work. They have been brought up to enjoy the 
life of luxury and ease. They live by the work 
of others. They have others to wait on them. 
Some of these women marry men of small means. 
You hear one say: “I love him and that is why 
I marry him. I love him as no one ever loved.” 
But, after a few years of her married life, al¬ 
though the man keeps constantly his devotion and 
affection for her, she cannot stand any longer the 
kind of home he offers her. Her early pampered 
life calls her. She seeks divorce, and after she 
obtains it, she directs her steps towards the lights 
of Broadway, the baccanalian festivities with its 
diamonds, cocktails, cigarettes. This sort of life 
ages a woman quickly. When her good looks 
have deserted her, when she finds her health and 
her spirits broken, she often wonders: “Had I re¬ 
mained with my husband, had I been satisfied with 
the plain living he offered me, had I worked to 

20 




keep our home together, perhaps I would have 
developed into a better and a happier woman.” 
She begins to realize that the cause of her trouble 
could be traced in the character of her education. 
She was taught nothing that could be helpful to 
herself and to others. If she had the proper 
training for some kind of work, she would find 
herself in a much better condition. She is now 
fifty, tired of everything and worn, she begins to 
look for an occupation. “If I had something to 
keep me busy, if I had something to occupy my 
mind!” she exclaims to her friends. But these 
utterances cause ridicule among the society in 
which she moves, for they know that she never 
touched a needle, or a typewriter, nor was she 
trained to dust a piece of furniture. She was 
raised to be perfectly ornamental. 

I recommend to parents to keep in mind that 
this most wonderful country had its origin with 
the thrifty pioneers, and to be their worthy de¬ 
scendants we must follow out their principles and 
aspirations, to work, work, always work. Do not 
shower your children with a life of luxury and 
ease. Some day you will be dead, but your 
daughter may murmur in her distress: “It is 
father’s fault. He thought I was too good to 
work.” 

TRAINING OF BOYS 

The question of raising and educating a girl 
is not hard if the mother does not lean upon the 
weakness of our time—indulgence—but that of 
raising a boy, is a trifle harder. 

As I have said for girls, I will also state for 
boys, they must be brought up to help their 


21 


mother in the household from the time they are 
four or five years old. At six a boy can do quite 
a few things. 

Boys raised on the farm have this advantage 
over the city child—they have the brown earth 
to use as their playground, the wide land in which 
to work. A city is a difficult place in which to 
raise a youngster, especially apartments without 
a yard, a playground, or a park nearby. When 
people marry and expect to raise children, they 
should try and live in a house which has at least 
a small yard. There is a suburb near New York 
where children have no yards or park in which 
to play, and therefore, they are left on the streets 
all day. Mothers and their babies stand out-doors 
in groups of three or four, talking and gossiping 
while wheeling their baby carriages. Others sit 
in chairs or on benches, in front of the apart¬ 
ments, while their little ones are romping around. 

This makes a despicable sight. It would be 
much better when there are children in your fam¬ 
ily and when it is within your means, to have a 
home with a yard, or some play-ground nearby, 
making it possible for the mother to keep the 
children within watching distance and enabling 
her to bring them up under her influence. If you 
have your own place you can keep the child close 
to you. You can talk to him and teach him the 
things you want him to know. Then when you 
go out, you can take him along. This method 
may prove to be more expedient than the other 
of letting him loose with his companions on the 
street where he learns despicable manners. 


22 


Remember the talk of a mother must be en¬ 
dearing. If you want to resort to scolding, or to 
raising your voice in admonishing your boy, do 
not forget that when he reaches his “teens” he 
will retaliate; he will also scold and raise his 
voice at you just as you did to him. “Ma, when 
do we get something to eat in this house?” “Ma, 
it’s time I had a new pair of trousers! Why don’t 
you cook something different for me?” He does 
not reason at all, he just demands whatever he 
desires. This is the result of having subjected him 
to obedience without explanation or understand¬ 
ing. Boys can make life pretty miserable for you 
mothers, if you neglect training them in time. 

If you live on a farm, assign your boy some 
duties after school, such as gathering eggs, cutting 
the lawn, doing some carpentry; make him do all 
the things he is able to do, and as he grows 
older, allow less play and more work. Parents 
should not be afraid to let their children do this 
sort of work, for it is very beneficial to them in 
developing their bodies and minds. As the work 
is done out of doors, it is the best tonic one could 
give a child to stimulate his growth physically 
and mentally. 

If he lives in a city or a town, send him, if 
possible, to the shop of a cabinet-maker. Then 
let him work in the house making a bench, re¬ 
pairing your old furniture, and if possible, let him 
make a cabinet of some sort. This kind of work 
is best for a boy. It is work that helps develop 
his instinct of building things and a work that 
will benefit him throughout life, because in doing 


23 


carpentry a boy cuts, measures, and saws, thus 
exercising his mentality as well as his muscle. 

If he is inclined to lead a life of ease and to seek 
amusements, uproot and destroy these impulses. 
Give him work and more work and talk to him 
constantly, outlining the hidden dangers for boys 
who have followed these impelling forces. I leave 
it to you mothers to use the proper persuasion to 
induce your child to work. How do you ask your 
husband to take you to the theatre or to a party 
when he is tired and does not want to leave the 
house? Use your own judgment in selecting words 
that will influence your child to obedience. Remem¬ 
ber this: “If a youth is not brought up to work 
before puberty, he probably will never be able to 
acquire the habit afterwards.” 

You can make a pal of your son. You can 
persuade him to work and do things for you in 
the home, leaving him a hundred percent of his 
manhood. 

Here another question arises: “Shall a boy 
learn to cook?” I firmly believe you should teach 
your boys how to cook. Once a week, perhaps 
on Saturday, tie an apron around him and take 
him into the kitchen. You can teach him how 
to cook viands, as well as how to wash and wipe 
the dishes and clear the kitchen. This knowledge 
will be very valuable to him in his life. It will 
teach him to be self-reliant. 

I have known rich men who have gone into the 
kitchen to cook a meal when they had no maid 
and their wives were indisposed; and even ordi¬ 
nary men will be confronted with the problem of 


24 


a sick wife and no one to cook. What shall they 
do? Starve? A man who has been properly 
trained will, in this event, be able to help himself 
and to serve others. 

THE HARMONIOUS HOME 

I have gone thus far, stating the duties for the 
mother to perform. As for the fathers, I have 
remained silent. Why? Because, as everyone 
knows, fathers go out to business, and the obliga¬ 
tion to bring up children, under puberty, is left 
entirely to mothers. I have tried to instruct them 
to lay the foundation of a good education, while 
their children are very small, and I have up to now 
refrained from stating the portion of duties 
assigned to the father. 

Parents should both be intensely interested in 
the problem of educating their little ones, and, 
if the father is freed from the tiring duties of 
attending his own child during the day, he has 
a more serious task to accomplish—that of making 
or help in making, his home life harmonious. 

We all know that many widows (poor widows, 
not rich widows), have made a great success in 
raising their orphan sons. The reason for this is 
that they were not interfered with in their duty. 
Being poor they allowed the child to help them 
from the time he was small. This little work, to¬ 
gether with the far-sighted vision of a working 
mother, raised the child’s ambition and filled him 
with aspirations. “He would work when he 
grows up and earn money to help his mother.” 

Another cause of this child’s success can be 
attributed to the fact that his mother had no 


25 


mate with whom to quarrel. In his home there 
was no cajoling, or coaxing. He was not taught 
to conceal things from his father, nor ever witness 
constant controversies and signs of temper. This 
is the reason why widows, although poor and 
alone, have succeeded more advantageously than 
the average woman who has had the help and 
support of a husband. 

I can cite many cases of parents who have made 
a success of raising their children because they 
have lived harmoniously. And here many women 
will state that such harmony is not possible in 
cases where the husband has a mean disposition, 
so that no one can get along with him. Well, I 
am writing concerning the raising of children, not 
how to patch up difficulties between husband and 
wife. However, what I would like to say at this 
point is that after you have tried to settle your 
differences and quarrels in the dark of night, 
while your children are sleeping, try to show a 
smiling front before them. Do not give them 
the least inkling of their disagreements. You 
must always have fixed in your mind the idea that 
your home must be harmonious. And I recom¬ 
mend here to women of a quarrelsome nature, 
who always want to be the last in answering a 
dispute, to stop and consider right then, how 
would they like to see their child in prison. This 
thought should reduce the power of their tongue 
lashing into silence, for as the result of disputing 
and brawling, their child has surely all the pos- ! 
sibilities in the world to go straight to perdition. 

Many women have saved their children from a 
blighted life by being prudent and patient and by 
pretending to ignore their husband’s faults. 


26 


Men, likewise, have restrained from managing 
with asperity their wives, being conscious that 
even though they needed the correction, the dis¬ 
turbance caused by their resistance would have 
brought evil consequences upon the life of their 
posterity. 

I will cite here the story of a man, a saint, who 
endured his wife’s faults in silence, all his life, in 
order to save his children. 

He was a traveling salesman. She a school 
teacher. At the time he was courting he forgot 
to ask her: “Are you fond of company?” This 
little incident, which seems almost negligible, be¬ 
came a very important factor in their lives, as 
the girl had aspiration for the so-called “society” 
and these aspirations grew, as circumstances fa¬ 
vored her. They had two boys. In the small 
Middle - west town where she lived she suc¬ 
ceeded in picking up friends among “the best 
people,” as she called them. She associated with 
those who were socially in a better position than 
herself and who had more money. She kept 
pace with them, which resulted in the spending 
of every penny her husband made. She kept a 
maid and a horse and carriage, and she had 
visitors staying with her in her house nearly all 
the time. Her husband did not like this attitude 
of hers and would often ask her if they could 
ever be alone in their home, but she was so able 
in the art of coaxing and cajoling that she suc¬ 
ceeded in continuing to do as she pleased. This 
state of affairs went on for years and years, the 
husband rebuking her gently, she resisting him 
through her methods. 


27 


Some of my readers would suggest here: “He 
should have put his foot down.” Yes, he should 
have, but he did not. Instead of expending his 
energy in struggling continually to correct her, 
he directed his attention to bring up his boys 
rightly. Among the good many examples of pa¬ 
tience and goodness that he gave to them, was 
the one to be kind to their mother. Besides, he 
taught them to direct their daily actions in help¬ 
ing their mother and in making her life happy. 

Was he aware that he would die young and 
would therefore leave his children to take care of 
her? I do not know. I can only tell you that 
every year, on his eldest son’s birthday, he asked 
him to do something big for his mother, to plan 
a surprise for her. 

This is contrary to the custom of our times, 
when parents shower gifts and amusements upon 
their beloved sons on the date of their birthday. 

Did this man’s action bring good fruit? Yes, 
he died in his fifties. He worked incessantly, 
stopping only when he died. He left no money 
or investments, as his contemporaries did. His 
wife had spent all his earnings. But he left her 
their two boys who developed into two fine, ten¬ 
der, affectionate sons. 

After she had squandered whatever she had 
received in insurance, she allowed her older son, 
then twenty-four, to take upon himself the bur¬ 
den of supporting the family. He worked and 
travelled as his father did, and she kept busy en¬ 
tertaining her friends as she did before, spend¬ 
ing on them all of her son’s earnings. Now, you 


28 


would think that her two boys would scold her, 
or even argue with her in order to bring her 
down to common sense. They did not either. 
After the oldest boy was thirty-two, he married. 
The mother then gave up her apartment, leaving 
a debt of $900.00, which the son had to pay. The 
younger son then took upon himself the responsi¬ 
bility of caring for her, and now, after ten years 
of this life, he is not married, but again she has 
had to give up another apartment, this time with 
a debt of $400.00. 

She went to visit her friend, who has a beautiful 
home and two servants, and one would think she 
would be satisfied there, but she is not. She 
yearns to have a home with her boy, for only 
there she will be able to do as she pleases. 

You see, her children were brought up to make 
their mother happy, and now that they are grown 
up, they keep the same view in life. Rather than 
scold her, they cheer her up and do everything 
in the world to please her. The seed their father 
planted bore good fruit. Had he quarreled with 
her, he would not have changed her one bit, but 
would have made his sons the product of a quar¬ 
relsome home. By being patient and tolerant, 
it is true that he let her get away with all her 
frivolities, but he saved his sons for the benefit 
of his wife and for the benefit of society, for they 
are two of the best and most honorable Ameri¬ 
cans. They seldom comment about their mother’s 
extravagances, when they do, they say very little. 
And she lives as contented and happy as a woman 
could ever be. I often wonder: Will she ever 
square her account with God. 


29 



So, fathers and mothers, do not tell me of each 
other’s defects. I have related to you the best 
example I could think of, in order to illustrate 
that you can, if you want, ignore one another’s 
faults, instead of wasting your life’s energy in 
attempting to destroy them. 

Remember, that both men and women can be 
but little changed after being married. They can 
change their taste for eating, for clothing and for 
amusement only after several years of married 
life, but that which is a born instinct in them, an 
instinct that instead of being eradicated by their 
parents during childhood, was allowed to exist, 
will follow them to the grave. 

THE BROW-BEATEN CHILD 

The brow-beaten child has a poor chance for 
success in his life; his chance is as poor as the 
much-indulged child. I shall speak of them both. 

The brow-beaten child is the child that is made 
to obey by scolding, threats or beating. Some 
mothers think they inherited from God the right 
of commanding their children. Instead of train¬ 
ing themselves on the correct system of how to 
deal with a child, they resort to the method of 
controlling him rigidly, of making him obey with¬ 
out explanation. The result is a brow-beaten 
child. He will obey as a child, but he yearns for 
the time when he will be grown-up and free to do 
as he pleases. Quite often when he reaches the 
age of emancipation, he will take advantage of 
his liberty and disobey all law, thinking that even 
this is a tyrant. 

A child mind must be treated as a work of art. 
Every day we must impress upon it some actions j 


30 


of good. We must always explain why good 
should be done and mischief should not be prac¬ 
ticed. In other words, we must take pains in 
developing the young mind, rather than stuffing 
it with rules of “Do’s” and “Don’t’s.” We must 
not consider a child as a plaything or as an object 
of company or as something to occupy our spare 
time, but as a sacred gift, as a being that you have 
the privilege to mold into a perfect man or a mis^ 
erable wretch. Have fixed in your mind the idea 
that a child will not always remain a child. He 
soon grows to be an adult; as Wordsworth says: 
“The child is the father of them.” 

TEACHING THE CHILD NOT TO LIE 

Another bad habit mothers have is to lie to their 
children. They lie in two forms. One is by fool¬ 
ing them and by concealing the truth from reach¬ 
ing them. The other most poisonous and das¬ 
tardly form is to teach the children to conceal 
the truth from their fathers. We often hear a 
mother say to her boy: “You will not tell that to 
father, will you, dear?” Here a piece of cake, or 
a cookie, or a piece of chocolate is offered the child 
to seal the bargain. Then a hug and a kiss, and 
she repeats again: “You won’t tell that to father?” 
and she winks too. 

Mothers little realize how these faults of theirs 
will bear bad results upon the future lives of their 
| children. It is like sealing a contract between 
themselves and their children, accepting the facts 
that their children will become deceitful and liars. 

I know mothers who will prattle and gossip 
before their little girls. Then they ask them not 
to tell what they hear from mother’s lips. Out- 


31 



side of the fact that once in a while the child will 
tell, creating a disturbance, think of the deceit¬ 
fulness they instill into their hearts! 

When these children are grown-up girls they 
will compliment their mother with the fruit of 
her teachings. You may hear then the mother 
cry: “What will I do with Marion. I cannot ever 
induce her to tell me the truth. She has nothing 
but deceit for me, her very mother. Oh, won’t 
somebody tell me what to do with that child!” 

She will never think that perhaps, way back, 
ten years ago, she asked her child: “You will not 
tell this or that?” and if she did think of these in¬ 
cidents, would she kneel down with her face filled 
with shame, and exclaim: “God, what have I 
done!” No, she insists now in gossiping with her 
friends regarding her own daughter, “most incor¬ 
rigible and deceitful girl,” and she asks in sad 
tones: “What am I to do?” 

I have never heard a mother blame herself for 
the evil results brought about by the carelessness 
of her education; she blames fate, or luck, or bad 
company. In fact, she blames everything outside 
of herself. This she never does because of 
ignorance. 

Life to some mothers is a constant turmoil. 
They get up, prepare breakfast for their husbands, 
force some into the mouths of their young ones, 
go over their housework (meanwhile scolding and 
yelling at their children). Then they dress up 
and go to visit some friends or relatives. There 
they eat, gossip, and laugh, casting always amidst 
their joy, scolding to their children, or striking 
them and setting them roughly down to play. 


32 


Meanwhile they chat upon different subjects, their 
ailments being a favorite one, of which they talk 
as though they were almost the proud owners. 
When they have finished this delightful entertain¬ 
ment, they drag their children back home. There 
they begin to complain that they are tired, and, 
“Won’t they please stop making noise?” With 
a few threats they quiet the young ones down. 
When anyone notices the particular unruliness of 
their children, they say: “Oh, well, they are going 
to school, and when they do, and they associate 
with other children, they will behave better.” 

This statement is ignorant as well as non¬ 
sensical. Mothers who neglect their duty and 
spoil their children cannot expect the school to do 
and undo her work. They must realize that the 
responsibility to prepare the child for school, and 
to help the school do its work, is theirs, and theirs 
only. 

Teaching children to lie or to conceal the truth 
does not only confine the lying within the limits 
of their homes but gives them the habit of prac¬ 
ticing lies and of being dishonorable. 

I advise mothers to stay at home, to study and 
train themselves in the best methods of raising 
their children, rather than to waste their pre¬ 
cious time going visiting. In the end they will be 
the gainers for this small sacrifice. 

THE OVER-INDULGED CHILD 

The over-indulged child is another sacrifice to 
the altar of mother’s ignorance. A child who has 
had everything in his infancy, including his own 
way, will quite often turn out to be a helpless, 


33 


lonesome, miserable man. No one pities him. 
We call him “selfish” and we leave him alone. 
We seldom realize that the man has reached such 
a wretched condition because of an over-fond 
mother. 

What did she do to him when a child? Noth¬ 
ing harmful, she thought. She covered him with 
caresses from baby-hood, and fed and over-fed 
him until she caused him many-a-time illness, 
during which period she held him in her arms, 
giving him the habit of being carried. He became 
a little prince, or rather the boss of the family. 
He directed them as to where he wanted to eat, 
the mother carrying the plate after him. He had 
a great deal to say where he wanted to go, the 
boys he wanted to play with, and the toys he 
wanted to buy. He liked to be amused all the 
time. Because when he was a baby the parents 
played with him until late in the evening, now he 
does not want to go to bed at all, insisting that his 
parents keep him company, that they lie awake 
with him until he is so tired that he falls asleep. 

He is dressed in nice clothes, and even though 
his mother is not rich, she strives to buy the best 
clothes for her pampered darling. She sews and 
washes and irons all day for him. She makes 
herself a slave to that child. Reasoning with her 
does not bear much fruit. If a friend recom¬ 
mends to her that she should not work so hard, 
but let him wear overalls when playing, she be¬ 
comes offended at such a suggestion. 

I know a woman who washed for her daughter 
a great collection of lingerie which was beauti¬ 
fully embroidered and made by the mother’s hand, 


34 


and the child wore it sliding down the banisters 
of the back stairs. She dressed her child better 
than the children of the wealthy. Her recreation 
was sewing and washing for that little girl. The 
mother died, leaving her child of twelve years to 
take care of the household. Can you imagine 
that youngster, who had never done any sort of 
work up to that time, being taken from the 
“never ending play with the girls” and being com¬ 
pelled to help her father keep house? Even if 
she is doing it, can you think of the sudden, tragic 
change fate has brought to her? She considers 
herself the most unfortunate child in the world, 
not particularly because she has lost her mother, 
but because she is compelled to do some work. 

No one can tell you exactly of the struggles and 
sufferings that are placed upon the shoulders of 
both men and women who were over-indulged 
when young. 

Do you ever hear weak and wailing young 
women complaining of their lot, of their house¬ 
work, or their ill health, of their children, of their 
husbands, in fact of everything. They cannot find 
any happiness in their lives. Why? Because 
they were over-indulged as children, because they 
were not taught self-reliance. In fact, their idea 
of life was given to them wrongly. 

Life, which is work and health, struggle, per¬ 
sistence, patience, cheerfulness, was given to them 
under the idea that it would be a field of roses, in¬ 
stead they have found it to be a place of thorns. 

Parents, however rich and powerful, cannot in¬ 
sure a happy and successful life for their children. 
‘ All they can do is to endow them with the ele- 


35 



ments of happiness through proper education and 
correct teaching. A great many so-called mil¬ 
lionaires have strived to accumulate millions for 
their children. They have worked hard to make 
money and to lavish all sorts of luxuries upon 
their young ones. What has been the result? 
Read the “Second Generation” of David Graham 
Phillips, and you will know. 

The author here describes a family of father, 
mother, daughter and son. The father and mother 
were plain folks, as all the pioneers of our coun¬ 
try were. Their home was also very plain. The 
father, who worked for the joy of working, hap¬ 
pened to make a great deal of money. What was 
more proper for him to do, than to spend his money 
for the education of his children? He sent them 
to two fine and expensive colleges in the United 
States and allowed them all the money they 
wanted. After several years the son and daughter 
were graduated and came home to start their 
careers. Great was his chagrin when discovered 
that his children instead of being a comfort and 
help to him, were like a great turmoil in his house. 
Instead of being content they were finding fault 
with the plain habits of their parents and with 
their plain home. What grieved the father most, 
was that his son and daughter were sought in 
marriage by a brother and sister of worthless 
character and broken finances. This distressed 
him so that he was compelled to will his money 
and his property to an institution, leaving his chil¬ 
dren $5000 each. After this painful action, he 
died. The brother and sister, who were to marry 
his children, ceased abruptly to care, and so, real- 


36 


izing what a great mistake they were making, 
they blessed their father for withholding their 
inheritance, and they buckled down to work and 
made a man and a woman out of themselves. 

If fathers would not make so much money, how 
much better off their children would be! Some 
men have accumulated millions of dollars by be¬ 
ing avaricious, and by paying their employees 
merely enough to keep body and soul together. 
Their wealth is all stored for their children, and 
when the latter reach the age in which they are 
supposed to do big things, friends and relatives 
looking upon them with great expectations, see 
them conduct themselves in a manner so con¬ 
trary, as to greatly disappoint everybody’s an¬ 
ticipations. 

Many of these young people have not been 
taught the right way to live and to enjoy life, and 
when they are out of college, they often direct 
their steps to dissipation instead of inspiration. 

It is my opinion that there should be a law that 
would decree millionaires not leave to each of 
their children more than $20,000. In fact, that 
no man should earn more than $20,000 a year. 

If there was not the greed of money, this would 
be a better world. If each of us would do some 
work, no one would be overworked. If there were 
not millionaires, some of whom believe themselves 
almost equal to God, there would not be the curse 
of money attached to their children, who in the 
end pay for their father’s avarice. 

Schools and Universities may co-operate in 
making the character of children, but the best 
traits in them must be founded by their parents. 


37 


THRIFT AND NEATNESS 

Pestalozzi, a Swiss educational reformer, who 
lived from 1746 to 1827, wrote among his books 
a little story entitled “Leonard and Gertrude.” 
I do not think many of my readers are acquainted 
with this manual, although it was written by the 
author for the purpose of helping mothers educate 
their children. 

The book deals with the happenings of a small 
village, so small that there was not even a school. 
Leonard and Gertrude are very poor, they have 
seven children, and live in one room. Gertrude, 
throughout her poverty, is a loving wife and 
mother, a charitable neighbor, and a thrifty 
housekeeper. By means of her persistent good¬ 
ness and her humility, she succeeds in achieving 
a great many advantages for herself and for her 
family. She is the teacher of her own children; 
love, justice, order, prudence are her daily les¬ 
sons. She let them spin yarn for several hours of 
the day, and she saves the money that they earn 
by this labor in separate packages, so that some 
day, each child might with its share, buy land. 

Her success in thrift contradicts the idea held 
by many people, who say: “If you are poor, you 
will always remain poor.” Many of our wage- 
earners assert: “You can never become rich by 
saving from your wages.” These ideas that sound 
correct, are fundamentally wrong, because we 
know that back of every fortune there was a 
thrifty person. 

We must keep clearly in our minds that the 
power to help us lies within ourselves. We should 


38 


impart first this remarkable principle to our chil¬ 
dren, then direct them to save in many ways, plac¬ 
ing the money saved into a savings account. 
That account may some day enable the young man 
to obtain a college education, or to give him a 
start in business. 

Children of the poor spend a considerable 
amount of pennies, nickles and dimes to buy 
candy, toys, and cheap trinkets. If these small 
coins were saved, it would surprise their parents 
to discover what a nice sum it would make. It 
has been said that the extravagance of the poor is 
appalling, that they spend more money and waste 
more food than the well-to-do. If children could 
be taught by their parents to save methodically, 
they would be spared some frightful experience 
in life. 

I have known some brilliant young men who 
had good positions with large salaries, and who 
managed to spend it all with the help of their 
wives. In some instances the wife became sick. 
4n expensive operation was necessary. The doc¬ 
tor demanded his money in advance. What else 
was there for the young man to do, but to go to 
a loan broker and indebt himself so badly as to 
cripple his future. His parents are to blame for 
this painful occurrence, because they did not teach 
him the principle of economy. They rather showed 
him by example how to spend all his income. His 
mother believed in having a good time, in buy¬ 
ing what she wanted, in indulging in extrava¬ 
gances, often running into debts. And while so¬ 
ciety opened its arms to greet her, it knew that 


39 


she lived beyond her means, that she sailed un¬ 
der false colors and was cursed by debts. 

Young men and young women should be taught 
the value of each dollar, the disastrous conse¬ 
quences of a mortgage, and that a little money 
laid aside is a great encouragement. They should 
be made to realize how appalling is old age when 
there is no investment made, no insurance issued, 
nothing but an empty purse. 

NEATNESS—I consider neatness one of the 
great accomplishments of the young. Everybody 
likes people who keep their rooms in order and 
whose clothes are clean and in good condition. 
Neatness also makes more congenial the relation 
between man and wife. Children should be spe¬ 
cially taught what their duties are during the 
day, to see that they hang their clothes in the 
right place, that they clear the mess they have 
made, and that they are trained in doing all the 
little things that keep the house in harmonious 
arrangement. 

If no attention is given to the rules of neatness 
and order, there will be disappointment awaiting 
your children in later life. 

GIVE CHILDREN A SOCIAL EDUCATION 

I often wonder whether parents realize that 
their home is only a temporary sojourn for their 
Children. After the years of adolescence are 
over, some of them leave home for college, others 
to be married, others might have to leave town 
in search of work. The length of time awarded 
parents for the education of their children is com¬ 
paratively short. In this time they should avail 


40 


themselves of every moment and of every oppor¬ 
tunity to accomplish their task. A part of this 
task is to teach them the ways of the world and 
to live harmoniously and successfully in society. 
Fathers because of their greater contact with peo¬ 
ple are inclined to educate their children as part 
of a mass, but mothers tend to individual 
education. 

You often observe that a woman teaches her 
own child to do the things that will return to 
benefit him or his family. It does not occur to 
her that her son will become a man, that he will 
be thrown in contact with other people, with duties 
to perform towards them. 

Before the son reaches his “twenties,” she sees 
less and less of him. She wonders what keeps 
him interested outside of her home and she is at 
a loss to attract his confidence. By the time he 
is twenty, there is a gap between mother and 
son. This greatly surprises her. Going over the 
years spent with her child, she cannot trace any¬ 
thing but actions of love and gentle service on 
her side. She is sure she has given him every 
motherly attention which should have filled him 
with eternal gratitude for her. Instead she re¬ 
ceives this unexpected, cold, and indifferent 
behavior. 

The truth is that her son is acquainting him¬ 
self with society, of which his mother taught him 
nothing. She failed to teach him as a child, his 
manners and obligations towards others, and now 
that he is brought in touch with people, he begins 
to feel a lack of knowledge in exercising these so- 


41 


cial duties. The service and attention received 
from his mother, diminish as he grows older. 
He realizes that she taught him nothing that 
would be valuable to him in the daily problems of 
life. He considers her a person to cook, to make 
beds, and to make the home comfortable. Out¬ 
side of that she does not enter into his 
calculations. 

Had she taught him to appreciate the good 
qualities of other people, to perform occasionally 
some loving action towards others, perhaps now 
as he meets the world, he would turn to her for 
consultation. But nothing could be further from 
his mind, because she lost the opportunity when 
he was a child, to impress him with her wis¬ 
dom and foresight. Now her chance is gone for¬ 
ever, and she sees him slipping away from her 
home and influence. 

Great is the number of mothers who teach their 
children to extend their love, their kindness, their 
respect, only to the immediate members of their 
family. For others they have not a kind word. 
Children brought up thus will also tend to be 
conceited, friendless and lonely. 

When a mother says to her daughter: “Oh, 
leave those girls alone, I do not like them, and I 
do not want you to have anything to do with 
them,” she does not realize the injury she does 
her daughter. She places her under the com¬ 
mand of her unreasonable whim. She casts a 
general depreciation upon her daughter’s com¬ 
panions. Some of them are quite often splendid 
characters. She deprives her daughter of that 
mutual friendship, that understanding, that com- 


42 


panionship which is so necessary to girls. Instead 
of her using deprecating language, she should take 
the pains to adjust herself to the company of 
youth, giving her daughter all the advantages of 
an early social education. 

Deprecating language! Here I think of the 
many mothers who habitually gossip about rela¬ 
tives and friends in the presence of their young 
daughters so that at an early age these girls are 
able to skillfully criticize and backbite.—Only few 
mothers know that this trait is detrimental to a 
young girl’s character; that being free of gossip 
is the chief charm of a young girl. 

Mothers should tend to cultivate in their daugh¬ 
ters love for their friends and relatives. This 
would prove to be the best means to develop af¬ 
fections more durable and substantial: A love for 
life, for people, for things; a love for the ties of 
blood. By keeping their girls segregated from 
others and close to them, believing this practice 
increases motherly love, they will find a great dis¬ 
appointment, for when their girls grow up, they 
will instinctively slacken in their affection and 
fall victim of a vehement love for an unworthy 
young man. Too late for mothers to repent or 
to retract their steps; their jealousy has had its 
retribution, their selfish method of education has 
brought misery to themselves and to their 
daughters. 

In raising children mothers should shun sel¬ 
fish motives, but insist in teaching justice and the 
warmth of love. Their reward will be fine, whole¬ 
some, loving children. 


43 


GRATITUDE 


Gratitude must be developed and cultivated in 
a child by his mother; it is a part of the social 
education. 

When we give something to a child, his mother 
asks him, “What do you say?” “Thank you,” 
answers the child. This seals the bargain. 
Mothers think that by teaching their children to 
say thoughtlessly that “thank you” they have ful¬ 
filled their duty. These words which are repeated 
like a parrot, do not convey the intended result, 
that of developing the sentiment of gratitude. 

The child should be trained to feel a grateful 
sentiment. If the gift was given to him by an 
aunt or an uncle, direct the child to think that 
these people are not in duty bound to give him 
anything, that therefore he should be appreciative 
of their gift. Let him notice that his aunt or 
uncle could have spent that money in their own 
personal use, but they chose to sacrifice their 
wants in order to make him happy. After you 
have explained to him to be appreciative, then 
ask him to thank them. You will notice that he 
will possess the real feeling as he says “Thank 
you.” 

“Leonard and Gertrude” gives us the best ex¬ 
ample of how to teach children to be grateful. 
When their father received a better position, she 
told them to thank the Lord that from now on, 
instead of plain bread, they may have some cooked 
food for their dinner. The action of thanking the 
Lord for this benefit, is the best way to train 
children to feel gratitude. 


44 


On another occasion when a rich man per¬ 
formed many acts of goodness to uplift the con¬ 
dition of their village, her children with others, 
marched in mass, all dressed in their best clothes, 
to thank their benefactor. The effect of this in¬ 
fantile gratitude upon the rich man was indescrib¬ 
able. He was sitting gloomily in his palace, 
thinking that he had meddled in the affairs of 
these people, but when he saw the children ap¬ 
proach to thank him, he felt happy and encour¬ 
aged to do more for them. 

Mothers should not omit occasionally to call 
their children’s attention to the sacrifices that 
their fathers make for them; to those that she 
makes herself. She should not let them accept the 
years of love and care, of toil and privation as a 
matter of fact, nor let them remain under the im¬ 
pression that parents exist merely for the pur¬ 
pose of waiting on their children. 

And going back to aunts and uncles, I must cite 
here how often one sees children showing costly 
gifts, remarking with indifference: “My uncle 
gave it to me.” No appreciation is attached to 
this remark, which sounds like he thought his 
uncle took some money for which he had no need 
and bought the gift for him. His mother failed 
to teach him gratitude for the gift of the uncle 
because she does not like him and in this way she 
thinks to scorn him, but instead the scorn falls 
upon her beloved child, because ingratitude shall 
leave its mark upon him. He will grow up with 
an unappreciative, indifferent, and selfish 
disposition. 


45 


And if he is unappreciative of the gifts that 
friends and relatives bestow upon him, how less 
appreciative he will be of the gifts and cares he 
receives from his parents. 

In other cases I have heard a mother say to 
her daughter: “You must not go to your aunt’s 
house, for she gives you a good time, and we 
never hear the end of it.” These few capricious 
words uttered by the mother do not help in the 
building of a fine character in her daughter. 
She should instead have said words of this sort: 
“You must do something in return to your aunt 
for her kindness; you know she likes flowers, why 
not pick some lilacs from the bush and bring them 
to her?” This suggestion would help to develop 
gratitude. 

I shall remark here that a great many mothers 
teach their children to dislike their grandmothers, 
aunts, and cousins. This they do for a specific 
feeling of jealousy. I do hope they shall never 
forget that neglect and indifference taught to¬ 
wards relatives shall fall upon themselves. Be¬ 
sides those relatives that they teach their children 
to despise are not always unworthy people, for 
I have known women who have begged and bor¬ 
rowed bread for their brothers, who have endured 
the dishonor of their prosecution, the shame of 
their imprisonment, they have stood by them pa¬ 
tiently and helpfully through these periods, but 
when their brothers had children, (who naturally 
did not know of their father’s calamities) their 
first care was to teach to dislike that very aunt 
who had endured their shame in the years gone by. 


46 


And when the time will come that these chil¬ 
dren will have to suffer, not for their father’s 
sins, but for their defective education, it will be 
up to this very aunt, if she is living, to help and 
comfort them. 

Parents should keep constantly in their minds 
the welfare of their children. To this purpose 
they must promote love and gratitude throughout 
their education and repress unworthy ambitions, 
petty quarrels, malice, cruelty and envy. 

CONSIDERATION 

Consideration is another excellent quality to 
be inculcated into children’s hearts. The first 
step to take in establishing this characteristic is 
to teach children to consider the impressions that 
their actions create upon others. Teach them 
also to consider the feelings of their neighbors, 
and while you can leave them free to come in 
and out of the house or the apartment where they 
live, you should train them to be cautious in not 
making any noise which might disturb others. 
If children would be taught thus, we would end 
that eternal struggle raging in nearly every apart¬ 
ment house where people with children, believing 
them entitled to run up and down as they please, 
cast every possible remark against those who seek 
quietness, while those without any children are at 
a loss to let the others understand that they are 
not influenced by animosity when they requested 
silence, but by a pure and just desire to live in 
calm. 

Direct your children to cultivate a pleasant, 
tranquil, peaceful demeanor, and explain to them 


47 


that in this manner they can have as good a time 
as by being loud and noisy. 

Not long ago I met a young lady who tearfully 
complained of not being able to sleep at night be¬ 
cause of boisterous neighbors. The girl was not 
quite twenty. That made me think: How many 
of these children, who now find pleasure in play¬ 
ing blatantly, will soon grow up. Some of them 
might suffer of insomnia, some would like to be 
quiet in order to study, and none will find any 
mercy from the small children who like to play 
vociferously. 

Teaching youngsters not to disturb their neigh¬ 
bors is a part of the social education, which should 
be established by mothers. Any efforts they 
exert toward this aim will bring beneficial gifts 
to their children, the neglect of this obligation 
will bring discomfort and unhappiness to them. 

Another good opportunity to teach a child con¬ 
sideration is in the public railways, where often 
women secure comfortable seats for their preci¬ 
ous ones, and when they see an aged person stand¬ 
ing by, they will not disturb their little ones to 
accommodate age. I believe that they should 
take advantage of this little incident to teach their 
children courtesy to older people. 

Great many have no consideration for their ser¬ 
vants because their parents failed to teach them 
this duty. 

Consideration is the first distinction of a gen¬ 
tleman, and if you want your children to be ladies 
and gentlemen, you cannot afford to lose the 
opportunity to educate them to it. 


48 


JUSTICE 

Justice is one of the fundamental principles that 
rule the world. Its emblem is a woman who holds 
in one hand a scale, in the other a lighted torch. 
The scale means equanimity, the lighted torch 
means the enlightenment that we need to discern 
righteousness. 

The opinions of various philosophers differ as 
regards the child’s instinct of justice. Some of 
them believe that the child is born with a sense 
of justice, others, that he is born cruel and inclined 
to injustice, while others will state that the child 
is born neither bad nor good, but that he becomes 
what we make of him. 

I have no comment to offer upon these various 
ideas, but at all events, it is safe for parents to 
direct their children, from infancy, to know and 
to obey the laws of justice. To accomplish this, 
they need not sit up and lecture them, but take 
advantage to turn some of the everyday happen¬ 
ings into lessons of justice. 

I shall divide these lessons into three parts: 
Justice between parents and child; justice among 
children, and justice between children and other 
people with whom they may come in contact. 

In order to cite the best example that will illus¬ 
trate justice between parent and child, I shall take 
the idea contained in Herbert Spencer’s “Moral 
Education.” 

Your boy soils his clothes with mud, make him 
clean them. He tears his trousers, let him mend 
them, and compel him to wear his mended clothes, 


49 


or let him stay at home instead of going out. 
Do not resort to the old method of beating him, 
and when he has cried, you, believing him pun¬ 
ished enough, will clean his clothes or buy new 
ones for those he has torn. Thus you are the 
sufferer of his bad actions, while in his eye you 
are the tyrannical parent for having beaten him. 
By letting him suffer the natural consequence 
of his actions, leaving him unbeaten, nothing 
appears to him more just than to submit to his 
punishment at his own expense. 

To teach children justice among themselves, 
take as example a brother who quite often quar¬ 
rels with his sister. The boy will break his sis¬ 
ter’s toys. Do not beat him, but let him under¬ 
stand that it is only just a new toy should be 
bought out of his allowance. When he has been 
deprived of his money, he will be more careful 
in handling his sister’s toys. 

The action of whipping the boy first and of 
buying the toy afterwards, with your money, is 
not a just nor a serious enough punishment to 
make him desist from breaking his sister’s toys 
again. Thus the parent assumes the punishment 
by spending his money, and irritates the boy’s feel¬ 
ings by beating him. 

Children should recognize clearly the justice 
of their penalties, which should be applied to them 
evenly. The worst thing that parents can do is 
to apply a punishment for one of the misdeeds 
of their children, and to let the same action go 
unpunished at another time. 

Another important point is to teach children 
the beauty, as well as the necessity of loving one 


50 


another. Parents should never rest easy until 
they have destroyed, by example and by morals, 
that childish enmity which often exists amongst 
their offsprings. 

The third part of the problem is to teach chil¬ 
dren justice between themselves and other peo¬ 
ple with whom they may come in contact. The 
housemaid furnishes us a fine example for this 
lesson. Some children are left at liberty to tor¬ 
ment in many ways this poor woman, and when 
she would complain to her mistress, all the latter 
would say to her children is: “Are you going to 
stop?’’ or “Stop that, do you hear?” Of course, 
the child hears, but these few words cannot pre¬ 
vail upon the pleasure that his barbarous instinct 
takes in tormenting the maid, and he persists in 
his mischevous conduct until the maid is com¬ 
pelled to leave. To this catastrophe the mother 
would state in the presence of her children: “She 
left us because she could not stand the children, 
who liked to tease her.” And so she closes the 
episode. 

I believe that at the first complaint she received 
from the maid, she should have called her chil¬ 
dren, and after outlining to them, that what 
seemed to amuse them, displeases others, she 
would ask how would they like to be in the 
maid’s position. “It is hard enough for the poor 
woman to make a living by working and waiting 
on others, but to be maltreated by the very people 
whom she tries to make comfortable, is too much 
to bear.” She should also explain that the maid 
is a person of flesh and blood, the same as they 
are. How would they like to work under the 


51 


same conditions and to be beaten by other chil¬ 
dren. Finally, she should impress them with the 
fact that only brutes take pleasure in mistreating 
others, that children who expect to grow up 
well educated should endeavor to make life pleas¬ 
anter for others, not miserable. She should not 
omit to say that by committing these unjust ac¬ 
tions they offend the law of justice, which is cer¬ 
tain to deal back her blows. In other words, “that 
which we do to others, will be done to ourselves.” 

And what shall we say of the little boy who 
comes to his mother from the grocer, with a few 
coins in his hand, saying, “Look, mother, I cheated 
him. I will buy ice cream with this money.” The 
mother looks rather pleased at the cleverness of 
her son. She thinks: “Well, we are poor, and 
these few cents will not make any difference in 
the grocer’s finances.” 

Her little girl will come sometime from the 
house of a neighbor with a handkerchief or a 
trinket of some sort hidden in her body. Boldly 
she shows it to her mother. The latter is either 
pleased, or else she might say: “What did you do 
that for?” It does not occur to her that the best 
thing she can do for her children is to incite them 
to the restitution of the articles stolen, and to ex¬ 
plain that the grave danger of picking up these 
little things lies in the habit they will form of 
taking things from people, which is considered 
dishonorable and for which jail is the penalty. 
She should describe to them the terror of the 
prison, tell them that many people who are there 
accused of theft commenced their careers by steal¬ 
ing, at first, little things. 


52 


Finally, she should point out how blessed is the 
man who has gone through life without offending 
the laws of Justice, who can enjoy freedom, who 
is in no danger of being caught and put into 
prison; and who turns the energy of his mind in 
uplifting his condition by brave and intelligent 
work, rather than in scheming how to obtain 
money by fraud and by theft. 

MODERATION 

Moderation too must be considered, moderation 
in food, in clothes and other things. A child 
should not be permitted to have too many clothes. 
He should be taught to keep clean and to wear 
his clothes as they need be. Let him know that 
there are children who have no clothes at all. 
This will temper his impulses to change extrava¬ 
gantly his own apparel. 

Another important phase of a child’s modera¬ 
tion is food, and if anyone succeeds in controlling 
his child from over-eating, he has taught him a 
great deal, because it has been said that a man 
who knows where to stop eating will be able to 
control his other appetites. 

CHARITY 

Charity is the most commendable of all virtues. 
I do not mean by charity “alms-giving,” but I 
mean that excellent impulse that often directs us 
to help others. While bread giving and clothes 
giving is a kind of charity, that is not the best 
kind. The best kind of charity is that which en¬ 
ables others to help themselves, to free others 
from poverty or from slavery to vices. 


53 


“Gertrude” taught her children to do both. One 
day she announced to them that from now on 
they will be able to have a cooked supper at night, 
and would they not like to give their afternoon 
bread to some poor child. Her children answered 
in chorus that they would. So each of them gave 
their bread to various poor children who were in 
fact starving. 

After this action, Gertrude leads her children to 
a better charity. She visited, therefore, the chil¬ 
dren of her poor neighbor who had lost their 
mother and who were dirty and neglected. She 
invited them to her home to witness her own chil¬ 
dren spinning. The little visitors felt the sense 
of well being when they found themselves in a 
nice, clean, orderly room where many youngsters 
were laboring industriously. The first thing they 
asked was to be taught to spin. Gertrude said 
she would do that willingly, and to that effect she 
asked them to come the next day. She taught 
them how to keep clean, how to brush and comb 
their hair, how to spin, and so she enabled them 
to begin to earn money. 

Charity ought to be done with our hearts and 
soul. To throw a nickel or a sandwich to a poor 
man is a meager kind of charity. We should keep 
doing good without any special effort, as a matter 
of course, as chance brings us in contact with 
many opportunities in which we can improve the 
condition of others. 

And when your position has changed for the 
better, when your husband has made more money, 
when you have been able to move into a more 
pleasant and larger house, do not employ your 


54 


energy or direct the attitude of your mind only to 
beautify your place, to seek new and richer friends, 
or to become prouder of your position, but like 
“Gertrude” teach your children to thank first the 
Lord for His gift, then give part of your time to 
help making others happy, thus you might impress 
your family with the everlasting example that 
goodness shall excel vanity. Do not forget that 
the house built upon vanity has unsteady 
foundations. 

CONTENTMENT AND HAPPINESS 

I have outlined a great many precepts and prin¬ 
ciples that would tend to make our education 
safer, but without the habit of happiness and 
contentment, we will have an incomplete result, 
for one might have succeeded in imparting to her 
children the various and best knowledge of edu¬ 
cation. Still, if one forgets the last part will 
fail to accomplish the task. 

Happiness is a state of mind, not a pursuit. 
Someone has defined happiness as being the result 
of honesty and truthfulness, but I insist that hap¬ 
piness must be taught and made a habit with chil¬ 
dren. How is this to be accomplished? 

One method is to call the child’s attention to the 
various gifts he receives from God, and teach him 
to be thankful. 

Another, is by destroying in him self-pity. A 
child that is disposed to be unhappy will use as 
a pretext his poverty. “He has no nice clothes; 
his home has only broken furniture; his food is 
plain.” A wise mother should direct this state of 
mind into thankfulness for the things he possesses. 


55 


She should say to him: “Charlie, what a beautiful 
bright day this is. Let’s thank God for having 
enabled us to live through it. Thank God also 
that you have your mother and father to shelter 
and protect you. Think of the poor orphans liv¬ 
ing on charity, passed from one orphanage to an¬ 
other, deprived of many privileges that you still 
enjoy. Thank God also that we are able to get 
food, however plain, for I know so many poor peo¬ 
ple who have nothing at all to eat and they are 
compelled to go to the alms-house. And thank God 
for our health. Should you go to visit the sick at 
the various hospitals, you would be surprised at 
the large number you would find there.’’ This 
sense of thankfulness for the things we have, is 
the first step to establish in the hearts of children 
the habit of contentment. 

Another sure way to combat unhappiness is by 
combating self-pity. Self-pity is our worst enemy. 
It is born by self-love. 

Let us stop enumerating the ill treatment re¬ 
ceived by fate, but stand up and overcome it, for 
we are the only ones who can work out our own 
salvation. Talking of our trouble to others is a 
waste of time because no one ever moves to help 
self-pitying people, but everybody will give a help¬ 
ing hand to the man who is willing to help himself. 

Point out to your children the hideousness of 
self-pity, with its destructure claws, and build in¬ 
stead contentment. Then teach them to assume 
the habit of being happy for happiness’ sake. No 
special amount of money is necessary to accom¬ 
plish this task, no fixed income, no new clothes. 


56 


To illustrate that this is true, let’s go back to the 
plain room where Gertrude and her seven children 
made their home. You remember how she sum¬ 
moned them to thank the Lord because they could 
have a cooked supper, and you remember how the 
children responded cheerfully and how they 
prayed happily. 

Stimulate your children to happiness through 
every little circumstance of life, until you feel 
their bosoms expanding with the joy of living. 
Teach children to keep smiling, for no one likes 
a grouch. Teach them that they should be happy 
when they have accomplished their duties, when 
they have spoken the truth, when their actions 
have been correct, and finally, when they have 
made other people happy. 

The best moral endowment you can give to 
your children is to exert them constantly to be 
happy and contented with their position in life, 
for even though some day they might be rich and 
healthy, they will not enjoy life, for they did not 
acquire during childhood the habit of being happy. 

SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS 

Children should be taught to submit their ideas 
to their parents or to their elders. The habit that 
our youngsters have to debate in support of their 
own wishes, and to vehemently uphold their ideas 
against their mother’s advice, resulting in being 
allowed their own way, will surely bring them to 
suffer sad and ruinous consequences. These chil¬ 
dren believe their conception to be right, and it 
is the duty of their parents to patiently correct 
and to combat their stubborn impression as soon 


57 


as they appear. This should be done by explain¬ 
ing that “life is a succession of lessons which must 
be lived to be understood,” that if each man at 
forty could start life again with the experience he 
possesses, things would be easier for him There¬ 
fore children should take advantage of their 
parents’ knowledge and subject their desires to 
their enlightenment. By following this attitude 
they will be spared many handicaps, humiliation 
and sorrows. 

Moreover, a child who is allowed to believe he 
is right, will develop gradually self-righteous¬ 
ness, which will have worse effects on him as 
he grows older, when he will live under the im¬ 
pression that only his actions are correct, and 
everybody else around him acts wrongly; he may 
also entertain the idea that the world is going 
to the devil; these views create discontent and 
misery within the mind that harbors them. 

HEALTH 

To raise healthy children is not difficult if one 
can keep far away the foes of health, which are: 
over-eating, fear, and worry. 

A great many physicians have proved that the 
major part of diseases are caused by over-eating. 
One notices quite often children being fed with 
eggs, milk, and other foods, until they are almost 
stuffed. For this reason they cannot enjoy a good 
digestion and the food taken, instead of being 
transformed into blood, decays into their bowels, 
often causing fever. 

It is a general habit of mothers to compel their 
children to eat when they are not hungry, think- 


58 


ing perhaps that in so doing they will grow to be 
strong and healthy. This is a mistake. We all 
know that a child is quite a little animal and that 
when his body requires wood, he will ask for it. 
Plain food should be administered to children in 
small quantities, asking them to eat slowly and 
to chew well. Mix happiness and contentment 
with it and you will have husky, strong, healthy 
children. 

Another key to health is the banishing from 
our mind of fear—fear of ailments, fear of poverty, 
fear of people. Fear subjects the human body to 
disease. “That which you feared befell you.” 

The third enemy of health is worry. To teach 
children how to keep free from worry during their 
lives is not an easy task. The lives of young peo¬ 
ple are subject to many worries. A mother always 
worries, and a great many people never stop wor¬ 
rying until they are about fifty years old, when 
they have learned, by their own experience, the 
futility of worrying, plus the damage caused by 
worry to their health, to their minds, and their 
finances. 

You notice occasionally how a mother-in-law 
who is past fifty or sixty, and who, at that age 
has stopped worrying, will torment her daughter- 
in-law in many ways, with the only purpose to 
impair the happiness of her honeymoon and to 
harass her. Even though she may be a clever 
girl, she is not aware of the older woman’s strate- 
gem, and she does worry. At first her happiness 
is marred, then her health is affected, and finally 
her mind is weakened. She makes a mess of her 
affairs and loses her money and her health. To 


59 


this catastrophe the mother-in-law will repeatedly 
state that she had no hand in her daughter-in- 
law’s affairs and that she never did her any harm, 
but deep in her heart she knew from the time 
she met her, that she could be easily fretted, and 
she kept persecuting her with her worrisome 
program. 

Had the daughter-in-law been trained from 
childhood against the effects of worry, she would 
have made light of the old lady’s program and 
would have been able to save herself from its 
ruinous consequences. 

Children should be taught and trained by their 
mothers never to worry—to look into the future 
always hopefully and serenely. The minute they 
let worry take hold of them, they will lose the 
light that directs them to the right path. By 
looking at destiny straight and fearlessly, by keep¬ 
ing cheerful and smiling, they are apt to be di¬ 
rected to happier and healthier ways. 

Over-eating, fear, and worry should be elimi¬ 
nated from the lives of the young, not merely by 
avoiding them, but by constant teaching, parents 
should illustrate to their offsprings the grave ef¬ 
fects brought about by these three habits. 

SUGGESTION FOR TRAINING OLDER 
CHILDREN 

What shall those mothers do whose boys and 
girls are already in their “teens” and who can 
not take advantage of the elementary teachings 
given in this book. 

A mother’s program to influence and improve the 
character of her children, is extensive and con- 


60 


tinuous, and I shall here make the suggestion of 
a few precepts which are of vital importance. 

First, be happy. Dismiss from your mind cares 
and worries, try to think of happy events, teach 
your children to keep a happy demeanor, exhort 
them to happy thoughts, to happy and good deeds. 
Impress them with the fact that the source of hap¬ 
piness is to be found within ourselves, and not 
without. If you let them believe that money, 
clothes, amusement or friends shall make them 
happy, they will always be dependent on these ex¬ 
ternal circumstances; by teaching instead that 
happiness is a source within ourselves, consisting 
in the peace of mind and contentment of soul, they 
may have or they may lose their earthly posses¬ 
sions, but they will always be rich in that which 
nobody can take away from them: the perpetual 
spring of happiness. 

Second, do not think or talk of ailments. Re¬ 
member that ailments are the outcome of temper, 
of hate, or over-eating, of immoderation. If you 
ever become sick, take good care of yourself, after 
you are healed see into which of these faults you 
had fallen, and be very careful that your children 
shall profit by your experience. 

Third, banish from life anger, jealousy, envy. 
The outcome of these three vices keeps humanity 
in perpetual misery. I have spoken extensively 
of the sad effects of temper, I shall now illustrate 
how to guard your offsprings from becoming jeal¬ 
ous and envious.—When a friend or a relative 
leaves your home, do not start to relate all the 
little incidents that irritate and provoke you, do 


61 


not tear to shreds her character, nor make fun of 
her manners. That will show a certain vulgarity 
in you, while it educates children to dislike and to 
hate people, leading finally to the tendency of 
making enemies. You should outline instead the 
good quality of this person as well as the good 
things she did and said. This method builds in 
your children’s hearts the habit of loving and re¬ 
specting others; out of this virtue many benefits 
will come. 

Lastly give your children every loving care but 
do not be over-solicitous in extending diffusively 
your service. Remember the more attention you 
give them, the least appreciation you will re¬ 
ceive. As they grow up you should teach them 
to wait on themselves, educating them to self- 
reliance rather than to pitiful dependence on 
others. Your daily program should contain les¬ 
sons of love for yourself, for their father, for 
brother and sister, and for mankind. I have seen 
mothers and fathers work, slave, submit to great 
sacrifices for the sake of enhancing the position 
of their children, yet when these became older, 
they had little if any regard for their parents. 
This happened because they forget to teach love 
for themselves with the service they had given. 
Other parents forgot to teach love between 
brother and sister with the result that while either 
did services and sacrifices for one another when 
they were in the same family, they grew indif¬ 
ferent and cruel to each other when they were 
older and lived apart. 

Many children are taught to be courteous only 
to people whom they like. This is a bad tendency 


62 


and should be supplanted by teaching them to love 
and respect those with whom they come in con¬ 
tact every day. 

The most excellent endowment you can leave 
your children is to teach them “Love thy neigh¬ 
bor as thyself.” 


63 




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